TOY STORY... "For Lucas & Senon."

When I was young, Grandmother always, always tryed her hardest to placate me.

Even when others were buying me dolls, hula hoops, jump ropes and more DOLLS--she would make sure my genuine needs were met.

Refining my desires of spirit, unlike mother, only polishing the outside for her own vain, selfish needs.

Toy guns, stick pony, fire engines, treasure boxes, marbles, army men and my favorite;The sculptured hard plastic figurines of the original 1930's Horror Classics: "Creature From the Black Lagoon", The Mummy, Frankenstein, and Wolf man!"

Man! Was I in heaven!!! It seemed she was the only one who knew me...understood me..loved me.. unconditionally.

There was no one else like her, or so I thought...But that's another true love story.

As a child I would grow weary of the world, my friends, needing to take refuge.

I would retreat to my safe haven at grandmother's along with my playthings and favorite toy monsters.

There alone, I would make my imaginary creatures "come to life" as Dr. Frankenstein did his monster, hidden in a scientific laboratory, and mine grandmother's bedroom.

Escaping, secluding myself from all others, into my own cups of wonder and secrecy.

A place where fantasies could be fulfilled; a blessed catharsis trying to heal from the inside out as a young trans child.

Invisible to the naked eye, was my world, with the exception of grandmother, who for much of the part, would leave me to be; only to disturb if needed.

I suppose she would hope my heart, my spirit, would ultimately heal through my magic medicine of mind and daydreams.

Yet knowing the damage human beings can do to one another, especially a narrow minded, judgmental mother.

And so it happened time passed, I lost track of my treasured monsters and I honestly, "didn't know" what had happened to them.

I hoped I could have saved them for my son one day, but no...lost they were except in my mind, UNTIL.............

..Two years ago I meant a very beautiful wise woman, who seemed, (with the exception of grandmother), the only one who knew me.. understood me..loved me.. unconditionally.

Yes..my own personal wizard who isn't quite from 'The Emerald City' but just beyond the yellow brick road, somewhere on the good red road of Arkansas.

Not only did she help me find the magic key of self that eluded me for so many years, but also recovered the lost valued monsters of my childhood.

"Creature From the Black Lagoon," "The Mummy," "Frankenstein," and "Wolf man!"

Of all the people I told of my childhood treasures, only "two" listened. Grandmother and Sabrina... And, if that isn't unconditional love--then I don't know what is.

There will never be enough words to express my gratitude for crossing paths with her and our one 'brief shinning moment; And grateful now for the friendship we do share for always.

Although, even as time passed, I never did get the chance to "play monsters" with my son but.........

I am blessed with a precious grandson, Senon Nicholas, who--"LOVES TO PLAY MONSTERS!!!" ;}

And so it is 'Toy Story' again, for Grandfather & Grandson, hearts healed on this good red journey.

For Sabrina: " Te amo mas que todo las estrellas que estan en el cielo, siempre..."

~LJS