Albeit without speaking it, and
hiding behind my masks, "I" was still in denial. Me..and my secret pain.
Not only was I listening to the voices in my head, "my personal demons," but receptive to everyone's as well.
Self doubt and self criticism are NOT healthy to entertain!
And so, slowly but surely, I was sinking deeper into the bottomless abyss, again.
In my heart... in my soul... I could see the big picture unfolding my destiny.
BUT, I had to let go of the old life FULLY, before I could carve out my new life totally.
Truth is, "you need to know who you are--- Really Are--- before you can decide what it IS you really want and what to do with your life."
For me it was difficult-- and letting others dictate even harder. So there I go again, wandering in limbo.
When I think back over the course of my life, about any & all worthy ambitions that got blocked, shot down, squandered... DAMN! All those lost chances.
Now--it was time to stop and give up all regrets, flush all sadness, and forgive anyone who I allowed to interfere.
Wipe the slate clean!
And so tomorrow I start AGAIN, hopefully my Hormone Replacement Therapy, (HRT).
Time to liberate myself from needless anxiety. Because when the fear is gone you live a healthier and happier life.
Cut those shadows down to their proper size. AND...
...to stop fighting with my inner demons because we'll soon be on same side again.
We all have the power to carve out the destiny we prefer,
My greatest adventure.
And so it is.~LJLS
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